The Onion: American People Hire High-Powered Lobbyist To Push Interests In Congress

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Here’s a beauty from The Onion that’ll probably make you laugh, AND cry: WASHINGTON—Citing a desire to gain influence in Washington, the American people confirmed Friday that they have hired high-powered D.C. lobbyist Jack Weldon of the firm Patton Boggs to help advance their agenda in Congress. Known among Beltway insiders for his ability to […]

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Stated as eloquently as only The Onion can: WASHINGTON—Despite ongoing economic woes and a jobless rate that has been approaching 10 percent, U.S. unemployment projections drastically improved Monday after the consumption of five beers. “It’s going up,” leading economist David Singleton said confidently, indicating the predicted growth in jobs with an upward wave of a […]

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