A Socialist Plea From My Local Utility Company

A Socialist Plea From My Local Utility Company

Why create wealth when you can just redistribute it?

When my wife handed me this letter from our local utility company, I exploded.

I have an idea for you, SMUD – how about YOU take a look at YOUR internal processes, and figure out how YOU can become more efficient! It is a recession, after all.

Then YOU are welcome to pass on YOUR savings to the customers YOU deem to be in need.

That way, you won’t have to bother customers like ME – just a small time entrepreneur working his ass off to get a business or two off the ground.

You want new jobs to bring us out of this crap?

Then just leave us alone – please, everyone – I’m looking at you too, Federal government! Just let us be – we’ll figure out ways to create new jobs – innovation comes from the ground up, NOT from the top down.

And SMUD – don’t EVER send a socialist letter like this to my house again. God help me, if I actually had children, and my hypothetical son or daughter opened this letter, and was exposed to this level of mind pollution. Might as well send us an envelope laced with anthrax.

So I, Brett the Commodity Blogger, am hereby calling for all SMUD customers to turn down their thermostats, or just turn them off altogether, and let us unite to combat socialism by freezing our collective asses off.

And with that, I sign off from my home office, where the current indoor temperature is 51 degrees.